Liberal Hypocrisy, “Vanilla Privilege”
tchy:
Trigger warning: explicit discussion of BDSM practices, rough sex—possible trigger for rape or sexual assault.
Apparently, someone who is “vanilla privileged” is someone who does not enjoy abusive sex. By abusive, I meant all of the harmful kinks—spanking, choking, etc. You name something self-deprecating, and there is a person out there who is interested in it. These people who are opposed to that kind of sex are “privileged” because they don’t get off on being kicked or punched.
Ironically, the people who are against “vanilla privilege” are also the people who are outspokenly about “stopping violence against women”. How is having violent sex not abusive? If these liberals weren’t hypocrites, they’d support mutually-beneficial, mutually-satisfactory sex without the pain.
this post is the DEFINITION of vanilla privilege.
you have the privilege to sit there and tell people that they are having sex the wrong way because you wouldn’t do it that way.
there is a HUGE difference between BDSM and violence. the difference is called consent. with BDSM there is trust and consent involved. the person is doing this for your pleasure (and theirs), not to hurt you. intent fucking matters, okay?
STOP CONCERNING YOURSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S SEX LIVES.
i would get into a discussion of kink as it applies to me and why it is not the omg horrible abuse that people paint it as and why it has actually been helpful to me an abuse survivor but i’m pretty sure it would a) not be a discussion and b) not solve a thing and c) just mutually exasperate everyone involved.
so…naaaah.
and omg, those liberals, what will they do next.Hi. I’m a dom. Fuck you.
My partner and I do all sorts of things that you, in your ignorance, would read as abuse. I have handcuffed her, chained her ankles, collared her, and tugged her around by a leash, I have blindfolded her, gagged her, and forced her back by her hair, I have hit her with a riding crop across her back, rear, and legs, and with my hands across her face and rear, I have restrained her body, her limbs, and her breathing, I have dominated her emotionally and physically, and directed her, either physically or verbally, to do things in a way that you would read as coercion or rape. And none of these things constitute abuse, because they were pre-negotiated, consensual, and carried out with the use of a safety word and other precautions designed so that if at any point she was uncomfortable with what I was doing, she could make me stop. And you know what? She never has. Nothing I have done to her has ever been nonconsensual.
Being able to characterize my sexual practices as abusive, despite the reality of my situation, is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. That you can write my sexual practices off as “getting off on being kicked or punched” is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. Treating mine and my partner’s sex as if it’s not mutually beneficial or mutually satisfactory is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. Never having to be afraid of revealing your sexual preferences for fear of being judged for them is a manifestation of vanilla privilege.
Sex is not abusive if partners consent, risk is minimized, precautions are put in place, and negotiated boundaries are observed—and this is true for all sex, not just violent sex. And people in the D/s community are often very specific about boundaries—which I would venture to guess helps minimize the risk of abuse. I would feel much safer with someone who opens up a sexual relationship with discussion of what’s allowed and how far they can go, rather than someone who just assumes they’ll be told to stop if their partner doesn’t want it.
Not to mention, you mischaracterize the D/s community immensely by equating D/s to violence against women. Do you think there are no female dommes, and that women would automatically have to be submissive? How sexist can you get? Not to mention all the gay people in the scene—where exactly does “violence” against women enter into the picture in a relationship with two men? Try not to be so heterosexist next time.
And as for supporting “mutually-beneficial, mutually-satisfactory sex without the pain?” Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather have mutually beneficial, mutually satisfactory sex with pain. Because, guess what? I like pain. And if my girlfriend wants to scratch her name into my back with her fingernails, I am sure as fuck not about to stop her.
Thanks again, fuck you, and goodnight.
Guys, remember when I said communismkills was just a fuckup with absolutely no credibility?
Think about posts like this from her when you see her appear on your dash.
tchy, I am breaking my rule not to follow any new tumblrs in order to follow you. Because damn, that rhetoric was wonderful.
(via iuwaehfoaiuwhefoiaulfjqn)
