Please, just stop
Sometimes you apologize. That’s great, but it’d be even better if you could stop doing it altogether. I don’t want an apology, I want you to stop doing it.
More often, you make excuses. “Oh, I call everyone ‘man’. I use it gender-neutrally.” But even ignoring the sexism that entails, it’s disingenuous; you don’t call everyone ‘man’. When you talk to other women, (that is, women who are not me) you just say “What’s up?”, never “What’s up, man?”
Yes, I pay attention to that sort of thing. It’s relevant to the way I have to navigate social interactions.
So, please, stop lying to yourself. Stop clinging to your privilege and couching it as an unavoidable personality quirk. Stop insinuating that I’m not really a woman. Because that’s what you’re doing, every single time you say “Thanks, man!” or use the wrong pronoun. It’s painful, it’s annoying, and frankly, I’m tired of it.
Look. I know. It’s awkward. You’re still “getting used to it”. Sure. Except it’s been almost three months now, and you’ve been seeing me and interacting with me five days a week during that time. At some point “getting used to it” becomes “obstinately refusing to get used to it”.
Like I said, I’m tired of it. I’d call you out on it, but, well, it’s not like I have security against being fired if someone complains to HR. So, could you just stop? Is it really that fucking important to you that you not have to make a tiny alteration to your worldview?
Because I can’t handle this shit any more.
