Duke Nukem Forever should not exist →

I wrote this angry rant over on my blog about Duke Nukem and rape culture.

Liberal Hypocrisy, “Vanilla Privilege”

blackenedbutterfly:

tchy:

Trigger warning: explicit discussion of BDSM practices, rough sex—possible trigger for rape or sexual assault.

notforallthewealthofcaesar:

cosmocumsmoothie:

communismkills:

Apparently, someone who is “vanilla privileged” is someone who does not enjoy abusive sex. By abusive, I meant all of the harmful kinks—spanking, choking, etc. You name something self-deprecating, and there is a person out there who is interested in it. These people who are opposed to that kind of sex are “privileged” because they don’t get off on being kicked or punched.

Ironically, the people who are against “vanilla privilege” are also the people who are outspokenly about “stopping violence against women”. How is having violent sex not abusive? If these liberals weren’t hypocrites, they’d support mutually-beneficial, mutually-satisfactory sex without the pain.

this post is the DEFINITION of vanilla privilege.

you have the privilege to sit there and tell people that they are having sex the wrong way because you wouldn’t do it that way.

there is a HUGE difference between BDSM and violence. the difference is called consent. with BDSM there is trust and consent involved. the person is doing this for your pleasure (and theirs), not to hurt you. intent fucking matters, okay?

STOP CONCERNING YOURSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S SEX LIVES. 

i would get into a discussion of kink as it applies to me and why it is not the omg horrible abuse that people paint it as and why it has actually been helpful to me an abuse survivor but i’m pretty sure it would a) not be a discussion and b) not solve a thing and c) just mutually exasperate everyone involved.
so…naaaah.
and omg, those liberals, what will they do next.

Hi. I’m a dom. Fuck you.

My partner and I do all sorts of things that you, in your ignorance, would read as abuse. I have handcuffed her, chained her ankles, collared her, and tugged her around by a leash, I have blindfolded her, gagged her, and forced her back by her hair, I have hit her with a riding crop across her back, rear, and legs, and with my hands across her face and rear, I have restrained her body, her limbs, and her breathing, I have dominated her emotionally and physically, and directed her, either physically or verbally, to do things in a way that you would read as coercion or rape. And none of these things constitute abuse, because they were pre-negotiated, consensual, and carried out with the use of a safety word and other precautions designed so that if at any point she was uncomfortable with what I was doing, she could make me stop. And you know what? She never has. Nothing I have done to her has ever been nonconsensual.

Being able to characterize my sexual practices as abusive, despite the reality of my situation, is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. That you can write my sexual practices off as “getting off on being kicked or punched” is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. Treating mine and my partner’s sex as if it’s not mutually beneficial or mutually satisfactory is a manifestation of vanilla privilege. Never having to be afraid of revealing your sexual preferences for fear of being judged for them is a manifestation of vanilla privilege.

Sex is not abusive if partners consent, risk is minimized, precautions are put in place, and negotiated boundaries are observed—and this is true for all sex, not just violent sex. And people in the D/s community are often very specific about boundaries—which I would venture to guess helps minimize the risk of abuse. I would feel much safer with someone who opens up a sexual relationship with discussion of what’s allowed and how far they can go, rather than someone who just assumes they’ll be told to stop if their partner doesn’t want it.

Not to mention, you mischaracterize the D/s community immensely by equating D/s to violence against women. Do you think there are no female dommes, and that women would automatically have to be submissive? How sexist can you get? Not to mention all the gay people in the scene—where exactly does “violence” against women enter into the picture in a relationship with two men? Try not to be so heterosexist next time.

And as for supporting “mutually-beneficial, mutually-satisfactory sex without the pain?” Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather have mutually beneficial, mutually satisfactory sex with pain. Because, guess what? I like pain. And if my girlfriend wants to scratch her name into my back with her fingernails, I am sure as fuck not about to stop her.

Thanks again, fuck you, and goodnight.

Guys, remember when I said communismkills was just a fuckup with absolutely no credibility? 

Think about posts like this from her when you see her appear on your dash.

tchy, I am breaking my rule not to follow any new tumblrs in order to follow you. Because damn, that rhetoric was wonderful.

(via iuwaehfoaiuwhefoiaulfjqn)

"A few tattoos on a woman are okay, A butterfly, a tiny star. After that, she’s telling me something I don’t want to know."

D: really ebert? really? (via tattooed women: not actually what you think they are)

You mean she’s a woman telling you that she is well aware that it’s her fucking body and she’ll do with it as she pleases because they haters, like you, are going to fucking hate, but it doesn’t matter ‘cause she’s just going to go about her daily business and that will hurt your little delicate fee-fees and you probably won’t  like it, but she still doesn’t give a fuck? Is that what’s she’s telling you? I think so.

(via tranzient)

Well, there goes the respect I had for Mr. Ebert.

For the record, what she is saying is “My body belongs to me”. I guess it’s no surprise that a rich white man doesn’t want to hear that.

Not like I wanna bring more traffic to rapists, but I figured y'all might be interested in knowing that we call them PUA's now →

genderbitch:

That is hella vile. I’ve written about these shitheads before.

I couldn’t even finish this. I read about a third of it, skimmed the next third, then had to stop because I was consciously suppressing the urge to break into a stream of profanity.

DAMN IT →

genderbitch:

sluthaditcoming:

stfuasiaphiles:

What is this, the millionth app that objectifies and sexualizes Asian females? FUCK YOU.

This just gives the creepy Asiaphile guy even more reason to stalk me and try to talk to me on the bus. Again. FUCK. YOU.

And I didn’t even throw up in my mouth until the “pick the ethnicity for your asian girl first” bit.

Bile does not taste good. Also most of the creepy ass guys at my old school would buy this in a heartbeat *shudder*

OH HEY THIS IS NOT CREEPY AT ALL

Seriously, what the hell is this? Because I don’t even. So much objectification. So much ethnic fetishization.

Nice Walled Garden there, Apple. Glad to see Steve Jobs’ vision of a marketplace free of all that objectionable stuff finally coming true.

Spelling women as womyn

blackenedbutterfly:

amygdaladentata:

blackenedbutterfly:

modeofeve:

lol seriously what’s up with that? 

No seriously, it peeves me. Spelling it as womyn just so there’s no ‘men/man’ in it is pretentious at best and misandrist at worst. Seriously, is it that bad that there be ‘men/man’ within the spelling of ‘woman/women’? I think there are much bigger issues regarding Feminism/anti-sexism/anti-douchebagism than how we spell woman vs. womyn. You know say… the right to an autonomous body (don’t tread on my uterus), actually implementing equal wages for equal work, abolishing the inherent racism/sexism still existing WITHIN the movement than something as petty as how we spell woman.

WHAT ABOUT FEMALE THEN? I honestly don’t get the point of “womyn”.

I jokingly think of “woman” as being über-feminist because a woman is everything a man is and more. Whoa man!

FUCKING META. Way to think outside the box!

I have been proposing (at least half seriously) we keep woman, and instead change ‘man’ to werman. See here for why!

"

It’s culture shock.

Your mom is acting like a typical Thai/Korean/Vietnameese/Japanesse/Chineese/Oriental mother. Really and truly. Believe it or not, she’s being really moderate about it too. She’s not locking you up, she’s not beating you, she’s not arranging for your father to have his way with you as you are initiated into womanhood (yes, that means exactly what you think it does).

I’m not saying she’s RIGHT, but you have Eastern Oriental culture clashing HARD with Western Occidental culture.

See, whether you know it or not, you are Western. She is Eastern. The values and the goals are different. *I* know about it since I have studied it and talked to Orientals who have gone through this.

You’ve been “corrupted” by Western life, even though you are into lolita and so on, you still have ideas that are counter to Thai upbringing. Like Feminism and a woman being equal to a man. Or how you can talk back to your parents without them doing anything. Or how you have a right to not be beaten with a stick for talking back to your folks.

Unfortunately, this is how your mom was raised. It’s probably 50/50 that she was taken by a man that she had no desire to be with on the orders of her parents, having had her virginity auctioned off to the highest bidder. THus that is how things are supposed to be. She probably felt privledged to have this happen to her, that she could help support her family.

The thing is that in the Western world, most of those ideas are outdated. We went through our “women are less than men” phase, and are just now crawling out from under it. IT’s hard, but traditional Oriental ideals are slowly making way for the Occidental ideas in all the Oriental countries with the sole exceptions of Tibet, India and China, mainly because they are so isolated.

I’m sorry, it sucks, it is hard and you are not to blame here. But, neither is she or your dad. Once again, I’m assuming that your dad is also from the Orient and is your real father rather than your step father.

If it matters at all, I would spirit you away from that as soon as I could. If I had the money, I would shower you with dresses, lolita, gothic stuff, because I think it looks very pretty. I’d also treat you as a woman, instead of a girl. If you were old enough, yes, I would be chasing you around, but you would probably like it in that case.

If you need to rant, please do so, I’ll always comment on things I can and I’ll help you get over this however I can. The one thing that I have that you don’t is perspective. I’ve been through this from both sides now, and I can tell you what is going to happen.

Best thing to do right now is to concentrate on your schoolwork. It’s a cliche that Orientals are educated, but it’s a cliche because it’s true. I wish America could do half as well. So focus on your schoolwork, dress pretty when you want to, ignore the complaints from your mother as background noise (for that’s all it truly is, complaints to be complaining) and do as you like.

And take lots of pictures for me. I like to look.

"

An old comment from my LJ. Oh god so this was the type of advice I got from people on the internet when I was like 14 D: D: D: D: SO MUCH RACISMMMMM (via stachiomaniasis)

OMG THE IGNORANCE IN THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.

(via tranzient)

Holy fucking shit. What the fucking fuck is this, I don’t fucking even. THERE ARE NO WORDS. Well, there are words, but I have been infused with too much incoherent rage to find them. Wow. Just wow.

Sententiola: 'Womyn' →

genderbitch:

…

agreed.

but seriously what’s with the “womyn” rather than “women” ? idgi

It’s this thing where some feminists believe that because you can find the word “man” in woman it’s a base level of sexism, so they add a y. I dunno, I don’t do it.

There is a kind of sense in…

Reblogging for reciprocity, and because your post was a lot more coherent than mine!

Fuck this womyn born womyn shit.

genderbitch:

rippingyarns:

chelle-shock:

telegantmess:

genderbitch:

And fuck the words bio woman, natural woman, real woman, genetic woman and etc.

I wasn’t grown in a vat, I was born. I’m not a fucking cyborg. I’m biological and natural. I’m not a fucking Sparkle Vampire, I’m real. I happen to have genes too. My body’s blueprint isn’t written on paper.

 agreed.

but seriously what’s with the “womyn” rather than “women” ? idgi

It’s this thing where some feminists believe that because you can find the word “man” in woman it’s a base level of sexism, so they add a y. I dunno, I don’t do it.

As an (hopelessly) amateur linguist, I find the ‘womyn’ thing to be pretty amusing. Here’s why: woman is derived from two Old English words, wíf, meaning ‘wife’, and man, meaning ‘human being’. That is, man was originally a gender neutral term. Prior to about 1000 CE, if you were talking about males specifically, you would use the word ‘wer’ instead of ‘man’. (Note that I’m not isaying that the Anglo-Saxon people prior to 1000 CE were more egalitarian than our current society! For one thing, they used the same word for wife and woman. I’m just pointing out why ‘womyn’ makes no sense, etymologically speaking.)

So, if anything, perhaps we should fight against the fact that the ‘wo’ derives from ‘wife’, which implies that a woman’s purpose is to become married. Or that women now require a qualifier on their personhood, while men do not. Obviously, ‘man == male == person’ is problematic. I’m not sure what the best approach is, though. Our tendency in recent years has been to drop ‘man’ in all compounds in favor of ‘person’, or something topical to the compound in question (e.g., firefighter), but that doesn’t address the fact that ‘woman’ is ‘man’ with the qualifier of ‘wife’. And ‘Woperson’ just sounds weird. It seems preferable to me that we change the moniker for the privileged group, though. Instead of stripping the word ‘man’ from everything, maybe we should fight to reinstate its strictly gender-neutral sense, and pick a new word for when we mean men in particular. (‘wer’ is handy and traditional) Women have already been robbed of so much, asking them to change the word they use to describe themselves seems problematic. I say, make men change instead. Hold the privileged group accountable. ‘Werman’, maybe?

Okay, wow, that got rambley. Thoughts, anyone?

"Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots ’cause it’s ok to be a boy.
But for a boy, to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading."

- Charlotte Gainsbourg (via sof-sufficient) (via shymisanthrope) (via erikawithac)

and now i love her more.

(via newspacecadet)

(via ancoraximparo)

Eloquently worded - I try to find words for this a lot and fail. I’m reblogging this so that I can find it when this argument comes up again.